Damn You Guitar Hero

Jaded reasons I hate myself for loving Guitar Hero:

I hate you guitar hero. I fought you off for years, and now you've sucked me in. What did all that effort get me, a first class ticket to Hypocrite City. Now I look like more of an ass than usual. In any case, here are the reasons.

#1) I play the real guitar. I’m not great, but I am far from bad, and have been playing for about 8 years. I’m not in band, but that’s mostly because I am far too lazy to want to learn cover songs and “pay my dues”. Plus, it is mostly just a hobby to keep my fingers busy. That said, my musical nature had made me snobbish towards this game, and I liked that. Why would I play a video game of something that I can do in real life (see South Park episode with Stan’s dad and his guitar). It would be like playing a video game about running a customer service team in the insurance industry. I already do that, I don’t need the game. In any case, I love playing guitar and can even play a lot of the songs found on the Guitar Hero games note for note, but I still love playing a video game. Yet, something about this game ensnares me. I feel like I should be beating myself up for playing this game….. but please don’t beat me up.

#2) I love the social nature of the game. There are not a lot of video games that anybody can get in to, but most people really like music. Not everybody likes watching me play NBA Live or Star Wars Lego or Halo, but they can enjoy the Guitar Hero games. It adds a social dimension to the game that playing the real guitar or playing other video games lacks. Also, it is completely against the musical snobs of the world. I love music, but am anti the music snob. Nobody should be able to tell you that what you like is dumb, especially with something as subjective as music. In any case, the musical nature means that anybody who enjoys music, can enjoy the game. Seriously, anybody can do it, even my fiancé, who hates my real guitars, loves this game, and even enjoys watching me play a little bit. That is saying a lot.

#3) I hate to say it, but I am still obsessed with having the high score on video games. Less obsessed than I used to be when I would pump $8 in to an arcade game when I was 12, but more obsessed than I am with putting a few dollars into a pinball machine when I am at the bar. I want to be dominant at this game. Absolutely dominant.

#4) I literally played for the first time four days ago….and I was good. It took me one and a half tries to become the third best player in the room. It was kind of sad that I was better than people who’ve been playing for years, but it felt right. I could kind of figure out the patterns of the buttons because a) I knew a lot of the songs really well, b) I know how to play a lot of them on the real guitar, and c) I’ve always been good about picking up on patterns and trends (not just in video games, but in real life too). Seriously, does anything feel better than picking something up, expecting to be a novice, and then it turns out you are great? Anything, no, probably not. This is probably what Kobe Bryant felt like the first time he picked up a basketball and realized he could beat kids who were 6 years older than him.

#5) This sounds stupid, but I love the controller. I know it looks stupid in the hands of a full-grown adult who is 6’3” and 200 pounds. Still, it makes it unique to other games and I find myself surprised that nobody came up with this idea a long, long time ago. This is as close a step to virtual reality gaming as we’ve got so far. I’m not a big gamer, but it seems like an important step, right up there with playing online and the Wii. Next step is the helmet with the gloves that puts you inside an alternate reality.

#6) As a music lover, I can embrace where this is going. This is going to be another platform for artists to get their guitar-driven music out to the public. MTV doesn’t play music anymore and radio only plays what they are paid to play. There are a lot of different avenues to get your music out to people developing online, but Guitar Hero could be a way to get your name and music out to the masses. Slash has accepted this, heck, Aerosmith is making a Guitar Hero game based off of their career and songs as another way to reach a new generation of listeners (also, it is a good way for Sony, Microsoft, and Nintendo to bring in new gamers). Seriously though, the potential here is great. From downloading new songs for your Guitar Hero game from your favorite artists or new songs that can be promoted through their websites, I think this is something that both the gaming and music industries should jump on board with.

Seriously, I shouldn't be this excited for these video games. It leaves me vexed, I'm terribly vexed.